What is regarded as “loss”?
Loss is a subjective thing. Its lexical entry includes a thing that one is deprived of, or a thing that is lost. To most of us, the word connotes to death and coping with a certain crisis in our lives, such as: death-bereavement, lost job-dismissal, breakup-divorce, illness-medical condition etc. The term of death can relate to the death of someone close to us, or it may describe an inner death…
In any case, the person who is experiencing a loss also faces coping with that loss. This coping is an inseparable part of the course of our lives.
Body, Soul and Loss
We all experience crises: some of them are conscious – they are experienced by a person, and some are less conscious – when a person’s surroundings notice the crisis long before the person themselves. With a person undergoing suffering and pain, a gap forms between the heart and mind. Although both happiness and sadness are comprehensible, our bodies perceive happiness through the comprehending mind, in contrast to sadness, which is an incomprehensible condition. It is much easier for us to grasp happiness compared to sadness, even though we perceive them as interconnected opposites.
In situations of loss, sensations of sorrow and sadness arise. These might be expressed mentally or even physically: depression, guilt, anger, helplessness, frustration, fear, anxiety, low self-confidence, weakness, respiratory problems, chest pains, diarrhea, vomiting, sleep disorders, suicidal thoughts, irregular period, appetite changes, confusion, denial, loneliness, withdrawal, effect on relationships, absentmindedness and disorderliness, lack of crying, lack of motivation, concentration problems, behavioral changes, violence, aggressiveness and others. All of these are mental and physical expressions which hinder the objective creation of an action plan.
The experience of loss by kids might also affect their development, and it is therefore highly important to provide them emotional care.
What do i do about that?
Coping with loss is individual and varies between people. A personalized plan has to be tailored, using the tools at our disposal to address each person’s needs:
- Make room for feelings – it’s good, it’s welcome, and most importantly – it’s OK.
- Find a support system – family and friends who are able to contain you and accept you as you are, who will allow you your space and especially – will know how to listen to you.
- Understand that the physical body is no dupe – it reacts, and its emotional system is highly active.
- Think with awareness and responsibility in mind – what way will best enable the body to cope with processing, containing and internalization. Remember that our bodies are very awake electric machines? They react to whatever happens to us, and in case of crisis, awareness and responsibility will enable us to assist our bodies in dealing with the current situation. Our bodies are gifts bestowed on us, and it is our job to keep them safe.
- An integrative therapeutic process – combining reinforcement of systems, relaxation, emotional care, a support system, awareness, and just as important – tools you will receive to help you in your everyday coping.
- Acceptance – accept that every person is an individual, reacting with emotions, situations and behaviors that are natural and inseparable from loss. Therefore, patience and understanding are always welcome.
- Faith – a significant component in any healing process.
Each person finds the way that is right and accurate for them at the time.
However, , remember!
The body is an awake electric machine, which is able to handle any challenge it might encounter. Your presence is a gift to this world, and you are one of a kind!
Miracles happen each and every day – and you are one of them!
