התמודדות עם משברים והתמודדות עם אובדן – מרכז שדה לניהול משברים אישיים – עדית שדה – עידית שדה – Edith Sadeh

Coping with Challenges

pick of a mountain

Life brings us challenges of multiple natures, but how can we identify them?

Let’s ask ourselves a few questions:

  • Do I sometimes feel that some part of my life – work, family or any other part – is not materializing as I have hoped/dreamt?
  • Do I sometimes feel like saying: “That’s it! Enough! I’m tired of this, it’s not worth the effort / it’s too much for me”?
  • Do I feel that coping is too much for me, exhausts me and even makes me hopeless?
  • Do I feel that life disappoints me, and my distance from the goals I have set for myself keeps growing?
  • How do I act when life pounds me? Do I move on?
  • How do I see things: positively or negatively?
  • Do I still believe that everything’s possible? Do I see the light at the end of the tunnel?
  • Do I find myself worried, disappointed, frustrated, guilty, scared or lonely?

Now is the time to ask yourself: How do I move on?

Here is the Sadeh stepladder for coping with challenges:

Step One – Decision!

Make a decision!

I live and breathe life in full!

I do not give up on life and on myself, and I’m going to take action!

The understanding that people around you can be there for you – to hug, to provide encouragement, to support or to listen – does not void your responsibility to take action. Remember – you are the only one who can take action and restart your life. Know that, in order to take action, coping asks your body, and all its layers, to conduct itself beneficially.

So, I’ve made the decision, reassumed responsibility for my life, decided to take action and stand behind my choices – but how do I do that?

Step Two – Preparation!

 

  • First of all, know that everything is precise, but we cannot always understand why things happen the way they do. You have to accept the fact that at times, the reasons are beyond our intellectual grasp.
  • Ask yourself: what am I going to do about that? What do I really want? Is this my true will? Is this my truth?
  • Listen to your body and its reactions.
  • Make room for the world of your inner emotions. Remember, this is always your truth, even when your surroundings reflect otherwise.
  • Tell yourself: “There’s a justified reason for everything that’s happening to me“. Throughout the process, keep reminding yourself the question which drives and motivates it: “What am I going to do about that?”
  • Create moments during the day in which you lower the stress bar and deliberately disconnect from your surroundings – just be, and listen to the signs.

Step Three – Action!

Focus on your goal. The more focused you are on your goal, the greater your focus will be.

Believe in yourself and in your capabilities

Check what your positive character traits are, those that have advanced you in the past and still do. Remind yourself of these traits every day, and talk to yourself in the mirror – remember, you know yourself best!

Go outdoors: to a public park or an open field. Walk barefoot on the beach, hug a wide-trunked tree, touch bushes, watch birds, experience sunrise or sunset and let Nature fill you – many insights can be gained from Nature alone.

During the day, create little moments in which you’ll do things you like: listen to music, talk to somebody you love, have ice cream or another favorite treat etc.

At the end of each day, dedicate 10 minutes to blankly stare at a fixed point on the wall for 2 minutes, and then write down your thoughts in a notebook.

If things don’t go the way you’ve wanted, think about changing the approach.

Create an action plan and enlist the help of a professional if needed.

No matter what happens on the way, you go back and focus your thought on your goal, because you can and you make it.

Believe in yourself! Be goal-oriented in your thoughts, imagination and being.

Pray and request by mere words, positively and to the point, what you wish unto yourself and unto others.

Be grateful every day for what you have: for waking up in the morning, for your beating heart, for your ability to perform basic activities, for the working appliances in your house, for your children, your spouse, your job, your car etc.

Be courteous to yourself.

Allow yourself to dream, because sometimes dreams come true.

And, most importantly, remember:

The divine ear is always listening – all you have to do is ask.
Everything is possible and the freedom of choice is granted!
And what you ask is for yourself to live life in full, passionately and joyously!